I'm older than I've ever been...

Wheeee!!! Happy Birthday to Meeee!!!

Yup, I turned 35 today. I celebrated by taking the day off from work.

I went to get my blood drawn for some tests. I had to wait over an hour with the crankiest people ever before they called my name. One of the people was a full-on cowboy who complained about all the "rules and regulations" in Las Vegas and how he couldn't wait to get back to where he could do some hunting and fishing. He also may have mentioned a desire to shoot the man who killed his son. Which is sad and disturbing and not something that I feel should be discussed with strangers in a pathology lab waiting room. Another woman complained about having to wait 3 1/2 hours and then found out that she wasn't ever going to get called because she didn't put her name on the list. Ha. Sorry...that's not funny.

After the bleeding was done I headed to a funeral home to do some business regarding some money that is owed the family and they were actually having a funeral which let out right as we walked in the door. Then we find out that the lady who was supposed to have handled the business several weeks ago had been in a car accident and broke both her legs and no one had actually done anything for us since then. The whole visit was uncomfortable to say the least.

After leaving the funeral home I saw a guy walking down the street with his unicycle.

I went to lunch at Marie Callendars and watched the guy next to me eat salads. Which would be healthy except that he poured like a whole bottle of ranch on each one. Well, the first one he dipped pieces into a bowl of ranch. The second one he just drenched. He loved him some ranch. If his plane ever crashes on a crazy island he's totally going to be the dude hiding out in the jungle with an unrefrigerated tub of the stuff.

After lunch I went to the best bakery and bought the best cake ever. (Bavarian cream in the middle, buttercream on top. Delicious.)

Next was a used bookstore that didn't have a bathroom. I, of course, immediately had to use the bathroom since they didn't have one. (What's up with used bookstores not letting people use their bathrooms around here? What kind of lowlifes do they imagine are going to be shopping in a used bookstore anyway?) I headed over to Der Wienerschnitzel praying they didn't have their bathroom all locked up like Fort Knox. They didn't. Unfortunately, this Der Wiernerschnitzel had a very bad odor and their whole kitchen area on display. Let's just say, I won't be getting any chili cheese dogs from them any time soon.

Another used bookstore followed where the owner didn't even greet me even though I've been in there before and I was the only customer and this really loud ringer sounded when I walked in and she was sitting right next to the door. C'mon....not even a grunt of a hello? A nod of the head? I get nothing?

Off to the clothing store where I tried on a bunch of crap and then bought three identical t shirts except they're different colors. It was a comfy shirt.

The casino came next because it was my special day and I was sure that the gambling gods would recognize this with a big win. Unfortunately the gambling gods seem to have some sort of grievance with me because I just lost all my money. The Elvis machine was particularly brutal. Stupid Elvis.

Then I went to dinner and accidentally dragged my shirt sleeve through some gravy while the waiter watched. Later, when he was clearing the table, he made a point of saying he was taking the knife so I wouldn't cut myself. So, I don't think I made a good impression.

Then I came home and watched a Survivor where the contestant I have in the office fantasy Survivor game was inexplicably almost kicked off. What the heck did she ever do to anyone? Stupid Survivors made me lose points every time they wrote her name down.

Anyway, Happy Birthday to Me!!